Yeah, I'm over it just like the church song on, "I Can Do Bad By Myself." I told myself, one more time
and I give up. I think its been 78 times. Jesus only said 77 and I haven't tried to count but this is it. I refuse to accept the blame. I'm hurt, yes, I'm affected, no doubt. I'm not alien--I have human feelings. When someone else throws their baggage, or garbage, off on me, I refuse to let it pile up. I'll accept recyclables and use what I can from the situation, but the rest is going to the city dump along with our relationship. My goal in life is to make sure that if Jehovah was to stand me before him and ask, "Have you done all you can to fix your situation?" I can reply and say, "Honestly, I know I didn't do all I could PERFECTLY, but I stayed here until the other person didn't want me in their life anymore."
Forgiveness and being forgiven have always been a struggle for me. I have trouble forgetting. As much as I want to, I still remember the feelings associated with things that have occurred in my life. That's part of the reason I fight with anger. Over the years, I believe what I should do is accept what criticisms that will make me a better person, accept that if I've hurt someone unwittingly not to say "no I didn't" because their feelings are valid by nature of them feeling it, and to accept that some relationships won't last. On the other hand, I've learned, that I can't accept abuse. I can't cosign on someone berating or blaming me. I can't stay and get punched in the face or kicked in the stomach. Most importantly, I've learned that though there are selected individuals who can't stand my guts, some who've verbalized it, there are far more who love my guts and my entire being.
Mary J. Blige and India.Arie seem to sing self-help anthems. I do need to "Get It Together" and adamantly want "No More Drama." All I want is to "Be Happy" with the "Little Things" in life. Tamika Nicole has indicated that there is "The Art of Letting Go" and I need to take classes. So since "This Too Shall Pass," I'm telling myself, "Get over it, let go. Take two pills and call somebody who loves you."